September 24, 2010

Realizing Emma

So this last week I had Emma home for three days. Usually she goes to daycare full time and since I'm not working right now my days are pretty much spent alone or going out with Laura. Emma and I were both sick. She with a cold and me with one as well. She was not quite as sick as I was and as I lay on the couch taking my medicines, going through tons of tissues and spending the day watching Nick Jr. with her as I dozed back and forth I realized something.

I've missed her. Having her at home during the day, being able to watch her light up when songs come on and she can dance. Playing pretend with her and her dolls and coloring with her. A lot of the thing I'm distracted and don't spend nearly enough time with her. Nor do I spend enough time really watching her. She's grown up so much and it was heartbreaking to realize. I was also very proud. She's turning into such a wonderful person and I know she's going to keep becoming more and more amazing.

When she went back to daycare yesterday I came home and the house was silent. I had gotten used to that before but now it seemed eerie. Her laughter, chatter and singing wasn't filling the house and it made me sad and lonely. I know daycare is awesome for her. She's learning so much and has friends she can play with. I'm glad she has great teachers and good friends.

I will be paying more attention now though. I'm completely in love with her and I need to stop being mired up in life and distractions. I'm going to take time to enjoy my little girl or as she keeps insisting a big girl not little kid. Which she told me last night! She's going to keep growing up fast and I need to watch every moment or it'll pass me right by.

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