Another Lesson in Preparing Foods

So I've had Gastric Bypass surgery which makes my food options limited in some ways. Such as I can't eat bread unless it's been toasted because in my tiny stomach it will just become a doughy knot. This was not something I was thinking about when I prepared a low fat version of Chicken and Dumplings for dinner tonight. Chicken and Dumplings is one of Carey's favorite dishes so I decided to make it with some left over chicken on the bone.

I prepared everything, made the dumplings from Bisquick and had Emma helping me make dinner. She's wanting to cook with me and I love teaching her how to cook. We're still working on the rules in the kitchen and when she breaks one I immediately tell her to get out. Such as her leaning over the hot pot and trying to put in some herbs without me assisting her. She knows not to get near the stove without mommy there to help. So out I sent her and she went to daddy crying about mommy. He explained that she had broken one of the rules and after a few minutes she came to me with her big blue eyes full of tears and apologized.

I finished making dinner and while I was checking to see if the dumplings were fully cooked it dawned upon me. There was no way I could eat the dumplings! It would make me sick and I do not like feeling like my tiny 4 oz stomach is going to explode. But I served the dish and Emma was saying she liked it because daddy was saying he liked it. I ate around the dumplings and then Emma declared she didn't like it. I figured it wasn't worth the fight so I got her left over miso soup from the other day. Miso soup is one of her favorite things to eat. My child is odd but I love introducing her to new foods.

I'm bummed though that I couldn't eat the full meal and I was upset that the spices didn't turn out right. It felt like it was missing something. I love cooking and I love figuring out ways to eat healthy foods and make them taste awesome. Since my surgery we've had foods from Morrocco, Japan, Italy, France, and many other places. We pick a regional food and try one each week.

This whole episode really has driven home that I need to plan out my meals and pay attention to what I put in them. This is a whole life style change not only for me but for my entire family. We're all healthier now but I have a feeling it's going to take a really long time for me to relearn how to live. I'm only 9 months post op and I'm doing really well. I've lost 137lbs. I officially wear a size 12 and cannot shop in the plus size section anymore. My whole world view is changing, my image of myself is changing and I'm actually starting to think that maybe I'm not so ugly. That there is a pretty person under all that fat. I think perhaps a part of myself will always see that fat person I was but now I need to move forward.

I need to embrace my life as it is now. Teach healthy habits to my daughter so that she won't have the same issues I did. I focus so much on the negative and have for so long that I don't think I've ever really learned to enjoy life. Now is the time to learn. Fear, apprehension and a dawning feeling of excitement is filling me. Can I do this? Can I be happy and embark on new adventures? Can I come out of my shell and let people into my life?

In the words of a famous engine. I think I can I think I can!