Ballet and Therapy

Therapy can be a really good thing for some people during hard times in their lives. I'm currently engaging in seeing a therapist and it's nice to be able to talk to someone. However, in therapy you have to deal with things. It's not like talking to your friends about your problems where they comfort you. That's not the point of therapy and while it is very good to work on your issues sometimes it just really sucks. Sometimes there is a certain amount of comfort in trying to push things away and just get through a day and a night without worrying, grieving, and all the other feelings that pop up. While it's not exactly healthy to pretend that there's absolutely nothing wrong I think it's also important to take a break and drag yourself from the sadness and worry. I've been stuck in that. Thinking about the future and the past; wondering where everything is going and not knowing at all is a real problem for me with my control issues. 


Today though I took a break for the first half of the morning before I got out and did all the things I needed to do. I played with my daughter and really laughed with her. It's been a long time since I felt like I could laugh and play so carefree. I loved seeing the look of joy in her eyes and hearing the giggles erupting from her. Today was extremely tiring for me I was going non stop after not getting very much sleep but somehow after a difficult day I actually managed to be able to play with my husband and my daughter. We had a game of hide and seek with a random tag in the house. It was really nice. I hadn't just had fun like that in a long time. Carey and I have been so stressed, busy and focused on things that I really think we were losing touch on what it meant to enjoy your family. It was nice to spend a day not bickering and instead being playful like we were when we first got together. Like we were when we first got married. 


When we had Emma things changed and it wasn't just about use anymore. We had this tiny little baby girl who taught me a new meaning to the depth of love a person can feel for another being. It's a completely different feeling than what you feel for your spouse but just as rewarding and awe inspiring. Somehow along the way life just happened. She hit the toddler years and we had things going on in our life that were difficult. She isn't a toddler anymore she's a preschooler and soon won't be that. Next year she's going to Kindergarten and this January she turns 5. She is now a little girl and she's fascinating and weird and it's awesome. I feel with all the heartbreaking things that have happened this year that we have not been nearly as patient with her as we need to be and I feel so terrible about that. So this play today was a really nice wake up call not to mention a great way to reconnect.


Today she had her Ballet/Tap class which she has every Tuesday. She's so happy to be taking them and wants to be a ballerina rockstar when she grows up. When she tells me this I giggle and tell her to go for it she just has to work hard and follow what she loves and she can do anything. I feel almost bad for her teacher. The class is comprised of 3 and 4 year old children and getting them to focus can be difficult. One is spinning in place, that was Emma, some others were off in lala land but the teacher managed to get them to focus. It's was entirely too cute and I noticed that when it came time to do tap Emma was still trying to do the ballet moves she had learned. She listens the best she can during ballet. She watches the teacher and emulates her pretty well. Some of the little girls have trouble with some of the moves and come on lets be honest they're young and it's to be expected. Emma is by no means perfect but when I watch her concentrating and really trying to do the moves correctly I can see how much she loves to dance. It's not just dance however, it's ballet. I asked her today if she preferred ballet over tap and she very much agreed. She likes the noise that the tap shoes makes and what kid wouldn't but she doesn't have nearly the same amount of focus during the tap portion as the ballet portion.


I think this might actually be something she wants to do and not just a passing phase. She asks when she can move up to the next class which is for 5 year olds and is a pre-ballet class. At 6 1/2 they start intro to ballet and at 8 they start actually teaching the students real ballet because before that age it's hard to get the students to focus and retain the knowledge. It takes practice but I really hope she continues in this. Tuesdays are some of her favorite days besides the weekends when daddy is home all day. I can't wait to see what she grows up to be and regardless of what she decides she wants to do I'll support her the best I can. She routinely changes her mind about what she wants to be when she grows up but it's always a combination with ballet. A pediatrician and a ballerina or a fireman and a ballerina. Who knows where she'll go but since the child cannot stop dancing where ever she goes she might actually become a ballerina. I hope she achieves her dreams.